Jealousy in relationships

What is Jealousy?

Jealousy is a highly complex emotion that affects everyone differently. It can come with many other negative feelings like suspicion, fear, humiliation and rage. It’s usually triggered by a fear of losing something you think is important, like the love and attention of your partner. This fear can be real or imagined and jealousy can affect anyone, even if you are in a very strong relationship. You might feel scared that your partner is more interested in someone else, or that they might end up cheating on you. Or you could have an underlying belief that you aren’t good enough for them. Often, these thoughts can spiral and lead to behaviours that might be damaging to you and your relationship.

Feeling jealous doesn’t make you a bad person–it’s actually a natural human response. No particular thing, person or experience is the root cause of jealousy—it’s nobody’s fault and you aren’t to blame for what’s happening.  However, we know that it can feel like a very isolating experience. And, we understand the distress, confusion, and emotional discomfort that you may be going through.

While a small amount of jealousy can be normal in any relationship, it’s when the feelings become excessive, constant and overpowering that you might need some extra support. Recognising you are experiencing jealousy might feel scary. But, knowing the signs and what to look for can be a helpful first step in understanding what’s happening.

Signs of Jealousy

Jealousy can show up in many ways. Some of them can be very subtle, and others are much more noticeable. Sometimes it can be difficult to recognise or even admit that jealousy is driving certain behaviours in your relationship. Here are some signs of jealousy that you might find helpful in understanding your experiences:

• Constantly checking your partner's social media to find out what they are doing
• Checking their phone or emails when they aren’t looking
• Feeling anxious or upset when your partner spends time with others
• Frequently accusing your partner of flirting or being unfaithful to you
• Insecurity about your appearance or worthiness in the relationship
• Needing constant reassurance of your partner’s love for you and loyalty to the relationship
• Comparing yourself to the other people your partner interacts with or spends time with
• Obsessing over your partner’s past relationships, which is also known as retroactive jealousy
• Controlling behaviours, like dictating who your partner can spend time with, or what they should wear
• Questioning your partner’s friendships and connection to others
• Wanting to discourage your partner from going out
• Feeling angry when your partner compliments someone else
• Wanting to know every detail of your partner's day, including where they went, what they did, who they met and what they spoke about

If you recognise any of these signs in yourself, it's important to try not to slide into a cycle of blaming or shaming yourself or your partner. At The London Psychiatry Clinic, we understand that experiences like this are signs that something deeper is going on. 

We also know what a relief it can be to speak to someone who really understands what you are going through. Although it can feel difficult and all-consuming, there are ways to break cycles of insecurity, mistrust and conflict in your relationship.

How to Stop Jealousy in a Relationship 

Understanding how to stop jealousy in a relationship certainly isn’t easy, but with the right tools and support it’s definitely achievable. Here are a few steps that might help as you begin your journey towards finding harmony and balance in yourself and your relationship.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: We know it can be hard, but the first step is recognising and accepting you’re feeling jealous. While it might be tempting to ignore or deny your feelings,  suppressing them can sometimes make the emotions feel more powerful.

2. Open Communication: Talking with your partner about your feelings in an open and honest way is important. Sharing how you feel without accusing can help you to build better understanding about your insecurities. Sometimes, the simple act of talking and being heard can ease some of the discomfort you might be feeling.

3. Build Self-Esteem: Lack of confidence and self-belief are two factors that can influence jealousy. Working on your self-esteem and addressing past issues that might have left you insecure can help you build a stronger and more confident foundation.

4. Seek Professional Help: If you find that the experience of jealousy is becoming overwhelming or it’s affecting your relationship then it’s okay to reach out for help. Seeking professional guidance from a compassionate therapist can make a world of difference when you are struggling. Our highly-trained specialists can help you explore the root causes of your feelings. And, although it’s not always possible to find the exact cause, we'll work with you to create personalised, healthier coping mechanisms.

Private Therapy for Jealousy and Insecurity in London and UK

At the London Psychiatry Clinic, we understand that jealousy can feel all-consuming and at times, debilitating. It can lead to anxiety, depression, and even the breakdown of a much-beloved relationship. We also know that with gentle and compassionate support you can explore the underlying causes behind these complex emotions. We aim to equip you with the tools you need to overcome them.

Our approach is evidence-based and grounded in the latest research. We believe in creating personalised treatment plans tailored to your unique needs. We focus on collaboration between you and your specialist to foster an atmosphere of trust, compassion, deep listening and understanding. 

Whether you are dealing with relationship jealousy or deeper issues related to self-esteem and confidence, our aim is to help you work through and understand your feelings. We know how valuable it can be to have someone to talk to who can help you find new ways of dealing with your emotions and improving your mental health.

We know there isn’t a simple solution to dealing with jealousy, as it will depend on your unique experiences and beliefs. That’s why we are focused on a holistic treatment approach that respects your own personal needs and circumstances. 

At the London Psychiatry Clinic, we have a number of specialists who can help you overcome jealousy in relationships. To talk through the options available to you, simply book a consultation call, and we’ll guide you through all the ways we can help. 

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for Jealousy

This form of therapy focuses on identifying and understanding the thought patterns that trigger feelings of jealousy. CBT can help you challenge and change unhealthy ways of thinking. It can be highly effective for breaking the uncomfortable cycles of negative thoughts and behaviours. 

Counselling for Jealousy

If you’re struggling with jealousy issues, it’s important to know that you don’t have to face them alone. Counselling provides a safe space to explore your feelings without judgement. Our highly trained and compassionate therapists are right here to help you. We aim to build an understanding of the root causes of your jealousy and develop healthier ways to cope. Talking to a compassionate professional about your feelings can help you gain clarity. Together, we'll find ways to manage your emotions without letting them take over.

At the London Psychiatry Clinic, we also offer counselling for other relationship issues like infidelity (cheating), communication or trust issues, and sexual problems. We also offer couples therapy if you prefer to have sessions with your partner to help you find your way back to a loving relationship.

Online Therapy for Jealousy

We understand that life can be busy, and it’s not always easy to come to appointments in person. We also know that attending therapy sessions can be daunting which is why we also offer online therapy for jealousy. You can speak to one of our experts from the comfort of your own home, making it more convenient to fit therapy into your schedule.

Retroactive Jealousy Therapy

Retroactive jealousy can be especially difficult to deal with. It’s a type of jealousy characterised by a fixation on your partner's romantic or sexual history. If you recognise this in yourself, you’ll notice that your focus shifts from the present to the past. It can create feelings of anger, anxiety, inadequacy, comparison, and obsession. Retroactive jealousy therapy helps you move through these difficult and intrusive thought patterns. It focuses on building a healthier, more secure relationship in your present.

Find the best kind of treatment for jealousy issues

It can feel scary to be experiencing jealousy, insecurity and thoughts that feel like they are running away with you. But from our extensive experience working with these complex emotions, we know there is hope. You don’t have to let these feelings control the path of your relationship or your own happiness. 

If you’re ready to take the first step toward overcoming jealousy, we’re right here to help you through it. Call us today to schedule a consultation and start your journey toward emotional well-being.